Accommodating conflict management

Don't recycle conflict; once resolved, let it go and get back to your life" -- Bruce Barton in "Matthew" section of "I plead with Euodia and I plead with Syntyche to agree with each other in the Lord." -- Philippians 4:2 Team unity: 5 conflict management techniques Missionaries get into conflict with each other. Volunteers in ministry organizations find themselves in conflict.

For example, when the relationship is short-term and the issue is not important or when the situation has a potential to escalate to violence, avoidance may be the prudent choice.

Some examples of avoidance behaviors include: - Saying the issue isn't important enough to spend time on - Saying there isn't enough time to do the topic justice - Gunnysacking - Being overly polite - Defining any emotion as discord and calling for objectivity when discussing differences - Smoothing over discord whenever a difference arises, so differences never are discussed - Focusing on details to the exclusion of the real issues - Demanding rationality whenever emotions arise - Attacking the other person verbally - Using evasive remarks to avoid sensitive topics - Shifting the topic away from the conflict - Avoiding topics where conflict may occur - Making noncommittal statements that sound like, but are not really, agreement - Keeping conversations at an abstract level - Joking to distract from the real issues in a conflict While always choosing competition has negative repercussions for relationships, businesses and cultures, it can occasionally be the right style to choose if the other party is firmly fixed in a competitive style or there are genuinely scarce resources.

Thomas and Kilmann’s styles are: Competitive (Forcing): People who tend towards a competitive style take a firm stand, and know what they want.

They usually operate from a position of power, drawn from things like position, rank, expertise, or persuasive ability.

However, that strategy might not be the strategy that we habitually use.

The Wrong Strategy for Shaun Williams How often do we make the mistake that Shaun Williams (celebrating in the photo above) made on Sunday; i.e., responding to a conflict situation the way we feel like responding rather than the way we should respond?Understanding the tactics and strategies of others who use competitive styles can assist conflict managers in defusing the negative consequences of competition and working toward a mutual gains approach.Competitive tactics include: - Lying - Concealing one's own goals - Concealing one's own interests - Attacking or criticizing the other person verbally - Becoming positional, and then incrementally compromising toward a middle ground - Elevating one's own arguments - Denigrating or rejecting the other's arguments - Threatening and bluffing - Denying responsibility - Pretending to be or actually being hostile "Whatever you want is fine with me." When one party in a conflict genuinely does not care about the outcome of the conflict, accommodation may be the right choice for that situation.This style can be useful when there is an emergency and a decision needs to be make fast; when the decision is unpopular; or when defending against someone who is trying to exploit the situation selfishly.However it can often leave people feeling bruised, unsatisfied and resentful when overused.The incident occurred at the end of a very close game--a time when his team could not afford any penalties.

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